becoming a better person

Preventing Emotional Decisions

A reader told me
I’d sell a lot more books
if I had my books
in X format.

I need an increase
in sales
if I want to keep
the romance novel business
alive.

And my first impulse
was to do what she advised.

I talked to a loved one.
He reminded me
of all the reasons
why I don’t offer X format.

I then quashed my impulse
to offer X format now.

We’re human.
We have emotions.
And sometimes our emotions
f*ck up our lives
by pushing us
into making terrible decisions.

Choose someone
to approach
when your emotions threaten
to take control.

Choose that person now.
When your emotions
AREN’T in control.

This person should be
the voice of reason.
They shouldn’t be easily swayed
by you and your convincing arguments.
They should have the ability
to repeat all your great reasons
back to you.

Designate someone
to approach
when your emotions threaten
to take over.

Deciding On Your Legacy

We decide our legacies.

We influence
how people remember us
when we’re here
on this Earth
and after we’re gone.

If you want to be
remembered fondly,
with joy,
with caring,
do the things
that leave that legacy.

Build more
than you destroy.
(And yes,
this includes building businesses.)

Love more
than you hate.

Give more
than you take.

Support more
than you punish.

Help more
than you hinder.

It is basic math.
Positive contributions > Negative contributions
= Being Missed After We’re Gone.

It is truly
THAT easy to leave
a wonderful legacy.

How Often Should You Give Constructive Criticism?

I have an acquaintance
who gives me
constructive criticism
EVERY time I see her.

Her criticism is valid.
She sees areas
I do have to work on.

But I now avoid her
whenever possible.

Because receiving constructive criticism
is an unpleasant experience.

And we, humans,
tend to avoid
unpleasant experiences.

Give constructive criticism
only when necessary
and preferably
when asked.

No one likes to hear it
all the time.

Your Audience Is Smaller Than You Believe

I was following a climate scientist.

He didn’t have a big audience.

The number of people
on this planet
who care enough about climate
to follow an expert
is small.

Then he fat shamed
a politician.

Many people,
including myself,
immediately unfollowed him.

His prospective audience
reduced again.

Because the number of people
who care that much
about the climate
AND
don’t perceive themselves
as being fat
is
TINY.

He likely believes
his reach
is broader than that.

It isn’t.

And your reach
likely isn’t as broad
as you believe it is
either.

Remember that
when you post offensive sh*t.

Do You Fully Understand The Critique?

A writing buddy was told
her heroes were too beta
and there wasn’t a market
for beta heroes.

She posted this
on social media.
Everyone rushed to tell her
there WAS a market
for beta heroes.

She happily indie-published
her story
with the ‘beta’ hero.

And she sold very few copies
of her story.

Because the true issue
wasn’t her hero was beta.
Her hero was passive.
He didn’t do anything.
He reacted to situations.
He didn’t drive them.

Very few people
want to read
about a hero
who doesn’t do anything.

When evaluating a critique,
ensure you understand it.
Ask for specific examples
of areas that need improvement.

If you decide to take action
based on a critique,
consider informing the critic
of the actions you plan to take.
Ask them
if those actions
will solve the problem.

If they say
the actions don’t address the problem,
you likely don’t understand
the problem.
Investigate the situation
more.