Tag: how to lose customers

No One Likes Being The Fool

Today is April Fool’s Day
and I usually spend
most of today
disconnected from the world.

Why?

Because like most people,
I don’t like being played
for a fool.
I don’t like being tricked.
I don’t like being lied to.

It decimates my trust
of the other person or business.

So why does April Fool’s Day
continue
to exist?

Because some people LIKE
tricking other people
or making people look
like fools.

And even more people
like watching
that sh*t.

If you’re planning events today,
remember no one actually likes
BEING the fool.

Easter Weekend And Expectations

It is Easter Weekend
in North America.

I know. I know.
It is still March
and Easter is ‘supposed’ to be
in April.
That’s our expectation.

And because it is
our expectation,
most people I know
are unprepared for Easter.

They are surprised
it is this weekend.

They haven’t bought
Easter flowers or chocolates
or bonnets or…anything.

Customer expectations
are important.

If we deviate
from those expectations,
expect to invest
MUCH more time and money
and other resources
into marketing.

And even with that increase,
expect to lose
some sales.

Work with customer expectations
if you can.

Making Changes In December

Almost every digital service
I use
has changed their layouts
this month.

Buttons are in different spots.
Information has moved.
Sites have different looks.

It is…tiring.
And frustrating.
And makes me reconsider
paying for those services.

Yes, I know.
We all want to set up
our products, our companies,
our lives
for the brand new year.

But December is
EXTREMELY stressful
for the average person.

Making changes
adds more stress.

Stressed people don’t buy products.
They don’t renew subscriptions.
They try to avoid
the source of their stress
which might be your company.

Try not to make changes
in December.

Do that earlier
in November at the latest.
Or later
in January at the earliest.

Keep everything
the same in December.

Publicly Shaming Your Customers

A writer posted
on social media
about something
awful
a reader (her customer)
said to her
about her book (product).

She named names.

I blocked this writer.
I don’t want
to ever talk to her
because she might
publicly shame me also.

I wouldn’t say the awful thing
but I might say something
SHE thought was awful
or incorrect
or stupid.

Don’t publicly shame
your customers.
Some of your other customers
WILL believe they’re next
and they’ll soon become
ex-customers.

Oh and this should be obvious
but don’t ever post
photos of your customers
without their permission.

If you plan to take
audience photos
at events,
WARN attendees.
Tell them
(in the marketing material)
BEFORE
they arrive.

Protect your customers.

Drinking And Pitching Don’t Mix

I left a message with a salesman
late at night.
I didn’t expect a call back immediately
so I was very impressed
when I got one.

Until I found out
the salesman was drunk.
He slurred through a half hour long rambling sales pitch
until I could finally get off the phone with him.
I didn’t buy.
I doubt I will ever buy from the company again.

The company had an admirable rule
of always calling clients back
within a half hour.
Unfortunately,
that didn’t take into account
the fact
that their salespeople were human
and that the workday is now 24 hours.

Don’t force your salespeople to pitch.
No pitch is better than a bad pitch.