giving advice

If They Aren’t Listening, Stop Talking

A loved one
calls every day
to ask me
to ask someone else
to do things
for her.

I’ve told her
numerous times
to leave that someone else
a message.

She doesn’t listen.

And I’ve realized
she will NEVER listen.

So I’ve stopped saying anything.

I’ve also stopped
relaying messages for her.

I listen
and then I ignore her requests.

That has made life
much easier for me.

And surprisingly
she still manages
to get the loved one
to complete her many tasks.

When people aren’t listening
to you,
stop talking.

Leave that energy
for some other task.

Don’t Take Advice From People Who Haven’t Figured It Out For Themselves

A loved one
regularly
gives me advice
on health and fitness topics.

I listen to him.
But I’m always skeptical
about his advice.

Why?

Because he’s in
terrible health.

And those health problems
are mostly
due to his choices.

There are
plenty of people
who are in great health
giving advice.

I use my limited time
to investigate THEIR advice.

Don’t take advice
from people
who haven’t figured out
the topic of that advice
for themselves.

Responses To No One

Most business builders
are fixers.
We like to fix problems.

And often
the way we try to
fix other people’s problems
is by giving advice.

99% of people
don’t listen to advice.

Most people also
hate receiving advice.

And giving advice that isn’t taken
wastes
valuable time
plus it is frustrating.

But it is dang hard to resist.

What I do (now) is…
I write my advice to that person
in a message
that I don’t ever send.

Yes, I waste time
on that initial message
but I save time
by not sending it
or dealing with the responses.

And I don’t get frustrated
with the person
for not taking my advice.

I have more time.
I’m happier.
And my relationships with
other people
are better.

Respond if you need to do that.
Simply don’t send that response.

Advice Is Early

When I talk here
about things like
the pandemic
or climate change
or shifts in the workforce,
I am almost always
early
with any advice
I give.

This is intentional.

Because making changes
in our businesses
takes time,
especially if we want
to make them
in the most resource efficient way.

There is no point
advising you
to prepare
for something
and giving you
no time to prepare.

The best advice
is advice
given early.

Don’t expect
events
to immediately occur.

Avoiding Drama

I was having
what I thought was
a good conversation
with a newer writer online.

Then,
all of a sudden,
she made the conversation
personal
and she was aggressive
about this.

I immediately deleted all my comments
and blocked her.

Why?

Because the latest tactic
for newer writers
to gain attention
is to accuse a more experienced writer
of targeting them
in some way.

F*ck that.
I refuse to engage.

And I doubt,
in the future,
I’ll share advice
with newer writers.

Do not engage
with drama seekers.

The drama will merely escalate.
And you will likely lose control
of the situation.

Walk away
and block.

That World No Longer Exists

During a workshop,
a new writer asked
a writing hero
how she got her start
in the business.

The writing hero
prefaced her answer
with
“It was a different time
then”
and, while she relayed
her story,
she pointed out
again and again
how her path to publication
wouldn’t work now.

The world changes quickly.

I consider
anything that happened
before the pandemic
to be a situation
that couldn’t be duplicated
right now.

And even that
might be too long
of a time frame.

Ensure the advice
you’re receiving
is still relevant today.

If you’re giving advice,
ensure it applies
to the current situation.

The world is changing.
Your advice should be
changing also.

Most people don’t want
our advice.

That’s the brutal truth.

But some of us
(points to myself)
feel a responsibility
to share what we know.

There are ways
of doing this
that are less…pushy.

One of the reasons
I started blogging
(first at
Road To Forbes
and now at client k)
is because
I had so much life experience
and knowledge
and
no one to relay it to.

I put my insights here
where people can find them
if they need that advice.

A loved one
is very much aware
of the climate situation.

He makes jokes about
being a prepper,
a doomer,
preparing for the end
of times.

People laugh.
They tease him.

But they also ask questions.
They are now aware
there IS a situation.

There are a multitude
of ways
to give advice
without forcing it
on unwilling recipients.

Find the way
that works for you.

This week,
it was revealed
that most of the politicians
pushing hard and vocally
for no masks
and no vaccinations
are profiting financially
from COVID.
They are getting rich
from people getting sick
and dying.

When I receive advice
from someone I don’t know
and don’t completely trust,
I always try to figure out
how they would benefit
from giving me that advice.

There’s ALWAYS a benefit.
And the harder people push their advice,
the bigger the benefit
there is.

I benefit from posting here
on client k.
Posting here
fulfills my promise
to previous mentors
to pass along their insights,
to pay their generosity forward.

It also forces me
to write every day,
to continue learning,
to stay current.

I don’t push hard
because having merely 1 reader
will do that for me.

When you receive advice,
always ask yourself
what is in it
for the advice giver.

Note: Earlier this week,
I mused that there was no downside
to letting people wear masks.
I was wrong.
There IS a downside
…for people like these politicians,
people who profit
from other people
getting sick and dying.
The rest of us
merely shouldn’t concern ourselves
with this downside.

Tag: giving advice