Everyone needs someone
to tell
their secrets to.
If you’re that someone,
you are in a powerful position.
You can’t
tell anyone else
those secrets
If you do that,
no one will ever tell you
their secrets again.
But the secrets
can often benefit you.
You have insider information
no one else has.
Better than that,
however,
you have that person’s trust.
Be a secret holder.
I’m winding down
the romance writing business
but my pen name
hasn’t told anyone.
The pen name
hasn’t told readers
or my editor
or fellow writers.
No one should know.
I’ve been receiving
semi-frantic requests
for minor character stories
from readers.
They somehow know.
Your customers pay
closer attention
to what you’re doing or feeling
than
you likely think.
Assume your ‘secrets’
won’t remain secrets
for very long.
Make decisions
and tailor your communications
to reflect that.
Unless I’m getting advice
about how to run my business
from another expert,
I tend to remain quiet
about how I’m running it.
Yes, I’ll talk about my products.
Often. To everyone.
But I don’t talk
about my business operations
to everyone.
Or to many people.
Because not everyone
wishes my business
or, heck, ANY business well.
And this is definitely
the era of surveillance
and will soon-to-be
the era of punishing people and entities
not falling within
the increasingly narrow
bands of ‘normal.’
(This is also why
I do my not-very-decorative
vegetable gardening
in the high-fenced backyard.)
Someone will have a problem
with some aspect
of your business operations.
Don’t tell everyone
everything.
When I help others,
I do it
as quietly as possible.
I don’t want the recognition.
That’s not why
I’m helping others.
But I know
my good deeds
will eventually go public.
There’s always a trail.
And we live in a world
where everyone has a recording device
and is constantly using it.
Someone WILL say something
or post something
or tell someone.
When I help others,
I accept that will happen.
You don’t have to tell others
about your good deeds.
Someone else
will eventually share
that news.
And it will be more powerful
because it is being shared
by that someone else.
There is no need
to broadcast your good deeds.
A relative asked me
what my romance novel pen name was
(he believed I only had one).
I told him
I don’t share that information
and I told him why
I don’t share that information.
He then sent his wife
to ask me
what my pen name was.
When I told her
the same thing,
he asked at least
one other relative
if they knew my pen name.
That’s d@mn creepy.
Restraint order level creepy.
I plan
to avoid this relative
going forward.
I’m blocking him
both virtually and in real life.
Don’t try to source
private information
from other people.
Go to that person directly.
If they don’t want to share it,
then stop trying to obtain it.
Don’t be a creep.
I donate a portion
of my book sales
to planting trees.
I don’t talk about this.
Why?
Because some of my readers
won’t like that I’m donating
to that specific cause.
Because many of my readers
will think,
because I donate to charity,
I don’t need or value
book sales
and my books will then
be heavily pirated.
But mostly because
it won’t increase my joy
by sharing this information.
And there’s a very real possibility
posting about it
on social media
will decrease my happiness,
will demolish my good feelings
around these donations.
Not everything we do
has to be broadcast.
We should assume
people, if they dig,
will eventually find information out,
but we don’t have to shove
that information
in front of their faces.
We don’t have to make it
impossible to ignore.
If publicity around an act
won’t help you or others,
consider saying nothing about it.