Category: Corporate Games

Crying at work
can be a career kiss of death.
Women are assumed
to be emotional basketcases
so when we cry,
our hopes of being taken seriously,
being thought capable of rational decision making,
goes down the toilet.

We all have our tricks
to manage emotion.

Being a natural introvert,
I act at business gigs,
playing the role
of a social career woman.
So when something terrible happens,
it happens to my character,
not to me.
I don’t take it as personally.

I also ensure I have a good solid cry
in private
at least once a week.
Yes, ONCE a week.
I watch an emotional movie.
I read a really great romance novel.
I listen to heart-wrenching music.
This drains my emotion,
allowing me to manage it.

And when something emotional happens
at a business gig
that I can’t handle,
I walk briskly away
and find a private place.
There’s a reason bathroom stalls
have doors.

Emotion isn’t a bad thing.
It can be a great thing,
a powerful asset.

But it should be managed.
Manage your emotions.

Kristen Stewart announced yesterday
that she slept with her boss,
her “Snow White and the Huntsman”
director Rupert Sanders.

This type of admission is rare.
There’s a reason why it is rare.
Because no one,
other than tabloids,
wants to hear it.

The coworker of a friend of mine
slept with her boss
and admitted to it.

Not only was every promotion,
every raise,
every project she was given,
now suspect
but every female coworker
had to defend
her promotions,
her raises,
and
her projects.

My friend,
a happily married women,
and a hard working professional,
was asked if
she was also sleeping with the boss.
(That answer was “no.”)

My friend eventually left the company
because she couldn’t shake
a reputation she had never earned.

If you’re sleeping with your boss,
do the rest of your coworkers
a favor
and keep it to yourself.

Folks might suspect
but until you admit to it,
it won’t be openly addressed
and your coworkers won’t be accused
of the same ethical transgression.

No board members showed up
at our writer’s meeting
on Saturday.

I dislike chairing meetings
and
being the master of ceremonies
for events.

I grumbled while
trying to find a replacement
but when I couldn’t find anyone
and I finally agreed to chair the meeting,
I stowed the bad attitude.

I put on my happy face.
I gave people the razzle dazzle,
smiling and laughing.

If you have to do something,
you might as well
get the full benefit from doing it
by having a good attitude
and completing the task
to the best of your ability.

That’s being professional.

When I worked in new business development
for a major beverage company,
I had what I called
a “meeting binder.”

I had binders for specific projects
but I also had a binder for
those general, usually last minute meetings
I’d be pulled into.

These meetings were often
with the executive team
and the reason I was asked
to attend
was because I was expected to add value.
I was expected to KNOW.

This meeting binder
contained the answers to
the most recently asked questions.
Historic ingredient costs,
Past project performances,
Recent company financials,
etc.

Other attendees would rattle off numbers.
I could SHOW executives
the results.
This impressed the hell out of them.

As Karen Keller shares
“Have visuals on hand.
Even if it’s not a powerpoint presentation,
carry something in your pocket
or on your laptop
just in case people start asking
for more visual proof or answers.”

If executives can see your information,
they are more likely to believe it.

Tanvi Gautam has a great post
on how women can handle
direct challenges
to their authority.

And you will have direct challenges
because you’re in a leadership role
and others want that leadership role.

One tip…

“Professionalism demands that
you ‘appear’ in control
even if you feel you are not.
Perpetuating the drama of the situation
feeds the other person’s appetite.
Don’t fall for that trap!
In the moment,
if it helps you,
think of how your role model might respond.
Sometimes adopting a persona
makes it easier to move past the situation.”

Adopting a persona
is a great way to put distance
between you and your feelings.
You can act professional.

I adopt different personas
for different situations.
I’m naturally a shy introvert
so when I need to be social,
I’ll ‘play a socialite role.’
I’m not talking to people,
social K is.

Use the power of personas
to handle difficult situations.

A loved one is interviewing
for his dream job
– a sales position
at a certain technology company.

When he tells people
this is his dream job,
many people laugh and say
“don’t you mean CEO of the company?”

No, he means front line sales.

One of my buddies
has the dream of writing
for Harlequin.

When she says this,
other writers chime in with
“But I bet you wouldn’t turn down
a New York single title deal!”

Actually, she would.
That’s not her dream.

It takes balls
to admit to having a less glamorous dream job
yet I’ve noticed that these people
are often happier
because they are working toward THEIR dreams
and not what other people think
their dreams should be.

Your dream job is YOUR dream job.
Figure out what YOU want.

Ken Davis shares that

“75 percent of the people
leave a presentation
with no idea what the point
of the message was.

Even worse,
50 percent of speakers
can’t identify the objective
of their own talk.”

Yes, 50 percent of speakers
don’t know what they’re attempting
to accomplish
by speaking.

I’m not one for extra words.
Clientk is proof of that.
When I talk,
I have an objective.

When I give a speech,
I repeat that objective over and over.
Recently I wrote a 750 word article
on the importance of reader expectations
and
I used ‘reader expectations’ 19 times.

Sometimes I worry
I’m a little too repetitive,
UNTIL I ask attendees
what the key learning was.
Even with the repetition,
not everyone receives the message.

Have an objective for your speech.
State that objective.
Repeat that objective.

I’m selling every story I write
yet,
as I mentioned on Thursday,
I’m taking a writing course.

Why?

Because I want to become
a better writer
and
because my readers deserve
the best damn story
I can give them.

Unless you’re number one
in your field,
there is someone who knows things
you don’t.

Heck, even if you’re number one,
there are up-and-comers
who know tricks you don’t.

If you want to be the best
or maintain your status as the best,
you need to improve.

Yes, I talk about this often here at clientk
because improvement is so key
and
because I personally like to be reminded
how key it is.

Read, attend seminars,
take a course.
Improve your skills
so you can serve your customers better.

A V-P set up a meeting
with a loved one
to discuss a possible promotion.
The loved one asked me
if I thought
he should accept the promotion.

I told him he didn’t have a choice.

Why?

Because by the time
a V-P talks to you about a promotion,
the decision has been made.
The V-P has pitched your promotion
to the other executives.
He has sold you as the candidate.
He has put his neck out
for you,
risking his reputation.

Turning it down
makes him look like a jackass.
No one wants to look like a jackass.

To prevent this
and to maintain that great relationship,
you accept the promotion.

If you don’t want the job,
you look for another position,
likely outside the company.

But who knows…
maybe your V-P knows you better
than you know yourself
and you’ll love your new job.

That HAS happened.

Darryl Rosen
advises
that being open with others
is one of the best ways
to earn credibility.

“Be open,
candid, and
transparent.
Don’t withhold information
that you should be sharing.
Don’t force others to ask
for the truth;
volunteer it.
Being open instills trust.”

The hard questions are
never asked right away.
They’re debated,
discussed with others,
worried about.

By the time,
you, as a manager,
get asked a hard question,
it has already affected
your team.

Think about what questions
your employees might ask
and preemptively answer them.
Share information.
Be open.