In
Ed Brodow’s
Negotiation Boot Camp,
he advises
avoiding the word ‘why.’
Instead use ‘how come.’
Why?
“If I ask you,
‘Why do you feel this way?’
you may interpret my question
as an attack.
or a value judgment.
What you may hear is,
‘You must be out of your mind
to feel this way.’
Using the more neutral
‘how come’
softens the impact of the question.
It is no longer a question,
it’s just a simple question.”