I am a child
of an abusive relationship.
I did my research.
I knew children
of abusive relationships
usually ended up
in their own abusive relationships.
I avoided getting into
ANY relationships
for a long time
and I deliberately surrounded myself
with people who were in healthy relationships,
seeking to learn from them.
to recognize what a healthy relationship
was.
At first,
being around those healthy relationships
felt strange and awkward
and not-at-all comfortable.
There was none of the yelling,
the hitting, the emotional manipulation
I expected.
But eventually those healthy relationships
became my new normal.
They became my expectation
for a relationship.
Today, I’m in a wonderful relationship,
have been in one for over 20 years.
What we’re accustomed to
is what we often try to get back to.
As Seth Godin
shares
“Credit card companies
have discovered that
if a person carries $2,000
in debt
with a $3,000 credit limit,
they’ll probably have $4,000
in debt
if the credit limit
gets raised to $5,000.
People who live with
drama at work
will almost certainly
invent new drama
(of any scale)
if the existing drama
fades away.”
If you’re seeking to change,
consider surrounding yourself
with people
who are already living
the way you want to live.
Make THEM your new normal.