If you’re a female business builder,
you likely already know this
– our male counterparts,
heck, even our male subordinates
talk more than we do.
Yet WE are the ones
who are accused of being chatty.
Two Canadian researchers,
Deborah James and Janice Drakich,
reviewed sixty-three studies
which examined the amount of talk
used by American women and men
in different contexts.
Women talked more than men
in only two studies.
In New Zealand, too,
research suggests that
men generally dominate the talking time.
Margaret Franken compared
the amount of talk used
by female and male ‘experts’
assisting a female TV host
to interview well-known public figures.
In a situation
where each of three interviewers
was entitled to a third
of the interviewers’ talking time,
the men took more than half
on every occasion.
I found the same pattern
analysing the number of questions
asked by participants
in one hundred public seminars.
In all but seven,
men dominated the discussion time.
Where the numbers of
women and men present
were about the same,
men asked almost two-thirds
of the questions during the discussion.
Clearly women were not talking
more than men in these contexts.
Even when they hold influential positions,
women sometimes find it hard
to contribute as much as men
to a discussion.
A British company appointed
four women and four men
to the eight most highly paid management positions.
The managing director commented
that the men often patronized the women
and tended to dominate meetings.”
So why are women
accused of being chatty?
One of the reasons is
men are accustomed
to talking and hearing other men talk.
It is so expected;
it isn’t even noticed.
Women, in contrast,
are expected to be quiet.
When we speak,
men find that shocking.
They notice it.
And they notice
they are speaking less
as a result.
When someone accuses you
of being chatty,
they’re telling you
they don’t expect women to speak
AT ALL.
Ignore them
and continue speaking.
And don’t worry about
speaking TOO MUCH.
It is highly doubtful
the men in the room
will allow that.