Envy can also show us
the skill level we’re at.
I’ve been told that as skills improve,
I should become more confident in my writing
and become less envious.
The opposite happened.
When I first started writing,
I’d hear about
a writer securing a big publishing deal
or landing on the New York Times list
and I wouldn’t feel any envy.
I knew I didn’t yet have the writing skills
to warrant this success for myself.
As I increased my skill,
my envy increased also.
Whether or not
I equaled the writer’s success
became more about luck than skill.
I had the skill.
I was envious of their luck.
Envy isn’t a bad thing.
It shows us what we want
and how close we are
to achieving this success
for ourselves.